Thursday, November 2, 2017

When Stress Feels Personal

Self Portrait: Stress.
I am no stranger to handling stress. My life is full of stressors. But, right now, that stress feels different. It feels personal and it's affecting my health.

According to the Mayo Clinic, stress can affect your thoughts, your body, your emotions, and your behavior. Some symptoms of how your body reacts to stress are:

  • headache
  • muscle tension
  • chest pain
  • fatigue
  • changes in sex drive (YIKES!)
  • changes to your digestive system
  • sleep pattern changes
That's putting it mildly. 

Back in 2016, I started a journey toward alternative health and taking back some of my life. One of the most interesting things the doctors' notice was my stress levels were off the charts and it was because of work. They urged me to find a new job because it would be better for my health. 

Afterall, I work in advertising...where only the strong survive

But I am strong and I stuck with my job. I was recently promoted. Little did I know my promotion came with its own bag of stressors - like having to prove myself all over again, even though I've been performing this function for two years and only recently did my title catch up to my job description.

Needless to say, all those symptoms I listed above, I feel. 

But, recently, I've been dealing with work-related stress that's not normal work-related stress. And it feels personal. 
Stressed out to the point of no return...except to bed.

This is affecting me in so many ways and I can't even get into the details of what's happening.

Still, my major concern from all of this is stems from my doctors' concern: stress can leave me bed-ridden or in the hospital.

Last summer, I worked so much that I feared I was going to go to bed and not wake up.

Now, I fear this stress is going to land me in the hospital and that's a horrific feeling. But I have provisions in place. I need to eat better, find ways to de-stress (like meditation, kickboxing, yoga), and I need to draw thick lines in the sand when it comes to priorities. 

My family is my top priority but, in the ad world, those lines between work and family blur - and sometimes I question if I'm really cut out for this industry.  

My mom used to say that I was courageous for entering the ad world. I finally understand why she used to say that. I'm in a male-dominated industry, in a male-dominated field and I don't work with women who like to lift you up. They don't like to tear you down, either. They just kind of exist. But I don't like this feeling of being stressed out and I wonder if it's courage keeping me there or foolishness.

I guess time, and my body, will tell.

The Beginning

The Beginning of Being Sick

Welcome to my blog! I'm not sure if anyone will read this but I'd like to say "hi" to anyone who comes across this. I ...