Making Peace with Myself and Where I Am

A friend of mine from college has always been around when I need her. We're not the best of friends but when we need each other, we are there for each other. When she knew I was moving back to Israel, she went to bat for me and tried to get me a job. When she was moving back to the US, I gave her access to my remote job site. We vent to each other on FB. Recently she created a community where women can help each other. She became a life coach and she helps women, like me, reach their potential, and she deserves every penny she earns. She's amazing!

So why am I telling you this? Because I feel a little broken. I'm overworked, tired, and a little spun out of control lately. I work too much, don't take enough time off, and I don't take care of myself. I came really far this year - in my health, in my learnings in my career, in knowing my own potential - but I've taken a few steps back in understanding my own worth, too.

This is where my friend comes in.

I asked for some daily affirmations on abundance and she asked if I wanted her playlist on money. Sure, why not. It can't hurt. But in all this listening, one message stood out:


Holy shit. I needed to hear that. I was in a tizzy last week. I felt like crap. I'm eating horribly, not drinking enough water, not sleeping enough, I'm stressed out and I'm not happy but I needed that light switch to go off. Why? Because I've made leaps and bounds compared to where I was last year. In 2015, I couldn't think about having a kid in the year ahead. I couldn't think about moving ahead in my career. I just couldn't think about these things because I was too sick both physically, mentally, spiritually, and religiously. A lightbulb went out. I'm actually at peace right now. Sure, I'm frustrated with things going on but this is where I'm supposed to be. There's some kind of lesson to be learned and I need to learn it before I can move on to the next level.

Being at peace doesn't mean I can't learn more and it doesn't mean that I can't shift my focus - so that's what I'm doing. I'm shifting my focus - from negative to positive. I want more money, so I will make more money. I want to eat better, so I'll buy better food. I want more well behaved kids, so I'll treat them better. Treat those like you wish to be treated, give and you will receive. 

I need to make peace with my illness. I don't know if I'll get better and I don't know if I'll ever get back to where I used to be - this is likely the new me and I need to make peace with it. I guess that's part of being human - always evolving and always making peace with life. 

Anyway, start making peace with you and where you are.


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