Friday, July 24, 2015

The Week(s) from Hell

"Hello? G-d? Can you hear me?
Give my mom a break!"
Ever had a really bad day? The kind of day that makes you want to curl up into a ball and just cry. That bad. So bad your head is pounding and your heart is hurting. That. Bad.

Welcome to the last few weeks of my life.

While battling depression (thanks, dysautonomia!) I'm faced with some obstacles in my path. They aren't just obstacles you can easily walk over. They are boulders. That won't move. They are mutherfrickn' big massive boulders that won't budge. They are the things that happen in your life where you can only control how you react but you can't control these boulders.

And they mess with me.

I'm working longer and harder at work. I'm drained by the time I get home and ill by the time I get in bed. I sleep (kinda), wake up, and do it all over again. I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day except I want to physically punch people on a daily basis. Strength is not actually punching people, by the way.

What a mess! I'm a mess. I have stuff going on in my personal life that is scaring the bejezus out of me and then I have stuff going on at work that's compounding my personal life. Something's gotta give. When will the universe just give me a break?!?

Anyway, I know life gets rough. It's not always a bowl of cherries - shit happens. But does shit always have to happen so frequently in my house? Goodness. Stress is causing my health to deteriorate. I can feel it. I can feel my bones ache and my skin get hot. I sweat (think: buckets). I get nauseous. I also vomit (sorry if that was TMI). Based on the spoon theory, I use up my spoons on a daily basis by 1pm. I need a break.

Welcome to my weeks from hell. Next week is a new week that will be filled with more obstacles - the only thing I can control is how I react to them.

No comments:

Post a Comment

The Beginning

The Beginning of Being Sick

Welcome to my blog! I'm not sure if anyone will read this but I'd like to say "hi" to anyone who comes across this. I ...