Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Sidelined...again

Last night, I took my older kiddo to the doctor to have him look at some weird rashes the kiddo has. It was a quick visit but it ended with the doctor saying "Are you feeling ok? You don't look well." No, I'm not feeling well. My version of dysautonomia is really wreaking havoc.

Lack of sleep is a major trigger for my dizziness and last night I did not sleep. Both kids were up several times. One wound up sleeping in bed with me. Yay. I woke up dizzy this morning. Very dizzy. And it's a crummy feeling. Here's what happens when I get sidelined like this:

  • I wind up working from home, which isn't bad (I'm crazy productive at home) but I hate it. I'd rather be at work. I like my coworkers.
  • I have to lay on my couch, laptop on me, to keep myself from getting so dizzy that I vomit. 
  • Depression sets in. Big time. Granted, I have a lot of stuff going on in my life but when your health takes a tank, repeatedly, you get depressed. You remember what your life used to be like and you miss it. Depression makes everything worse. My symptoms are always worse when my depression is bad.
  • My diet will consist of a lot of salt and electrolyte water. Sounds gross, right? There's nothing like putting sea salt on everything - all to keep your blood pressure from plummeting.
  • If I have to go anywhere, I need someone else to drive me. I don't like to worry my parents, so I often just don't go anywhere unless it's urgent.
I don't mean to whine but if you work with me and you notice I'm not around, this is likely why. I can work through most of my symptoms but I can't move past the dizziness. So, I'm not really whining. I'm not even looking for sympathy - this is my way of letting the world know that just because I look OK, doesn't mean that I am OK. I'm asking for compassion. Maybe even a little understanding. I may be sidelined today but I won't be tomorrow (hopefully).

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